I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
