Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
