I murdered the dance floor call the cops
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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