There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
