She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
