Will you blow on my dice?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
