he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
