yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
