Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
