I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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