Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Hm. I declare blue a flavor.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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(347): View more from New York

He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas

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(517): View more from Michigan

After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.

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(425): View more from Washington

I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body

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(416): View more from Toronto

If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy

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