You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
