You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
