Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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