You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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