You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
