Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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