the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
