I wanna bring you to show and tell
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Randomize
