yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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