I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
