im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
