You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
