You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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