He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
