I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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