If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
