I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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