Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i out mim tonsoeep
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
