he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
