Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
