so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
