I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
