Banned from zoo.
Again?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
