last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
