phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Actions speak louder than pants.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
