too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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