she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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