yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
