Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
