I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
