You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
