There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
