it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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