ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
