i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
