I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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