Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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