even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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