Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
