six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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