I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
