I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
